Only by acceptance of the past can you change it

You regret your old ways, you eat yourself up because each time your friends recall good old days memories and laugh you have nothing to contribute but feel a deep gaping hole within you caused by regret, regret of what you did and did not do.

Anna was a well loved girl in her school. As a young lady excelling in the male dominated medical school it wasn't hard for you to know the reason for the admiration she got from almost all the students, but Anna was not happy, though she always had a smile on her face. Why? Anna couldn't forgive herself for the abortion she had during the early days of her youth, becoming a medical student opened her eyes to the anatomy of the damage she had done to herself.

Stages of processing grief:

1. We have the denial stage: This is usually the first step, where we refuse to believe the outcome of decisions gone wrong.

2. The consideration stage: This is the stage at which we begin to consider the possibility of our grief been true, this stage is sometimes referred to as the heartbreaking or devastating period.

3. The acceptance period: At this stage one is nearly done with the grieving, tries to move on, to pick up the pieces and make sure ones life doesn't halt because of past mistake for mistakes are meant to guide us. One has an entirely positive mindset at this stage and hopes for a better tomorrow.

When hit with the realization of a wrong doing, different people tend to process grief differently, some tend to dwell more on denial as acceptance is termed hard for them, such people are classified as been grief stricken but they eventually get past it and move to acceptance. While there are those who move on fast and learn from their mistakes so fast that its as though the mistake never happened.

In all, we need our grief, our pain, it makes us human, it makes us learn but it is advisable to learn fast. Do not let yourself dwell on grieving for too long because negative thoughts such as taking your own life, or enacting revenge on an offender can arise from been in the grieving stage for long. If we can forgive ourself for our past mistakes we can then forge a new path for our future.

- Talius Dike

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